The Shyness Project

Making Friends In Class Again

Last semester, I didn’t make a whole lot of new friends.  I did, however, become closer friends to the people I had met before in this area, thanks to the fact that I now live a matter of minutes away from them versus an hour and a half.  I got to know one dance friend whom I’d always thought was really nice much better, and we spend a lot more time hanging out now.  I also started carpooling with another dance friend, and we shared a lot about ourselves during our car rides and became much closer than I expected.  I hope we remain good friends even though we can’t carpool this semester.  I also became very close to the person I dated, and we’ve remained close since.  I did manage to make one friend in my Accounting class as well, which was really nice because he was very helpful throughout the school year and made the class much more enjoyable.

This semester I would like to do a better job of making friends through my classes though.  My mom suggested I try and have at least a 3 minute conversation with one new person per day, but I think that would be too much for me.  I do have the mindset that I will try to talk to and get to know at least two people every time I’m at an event or social setting though.  And I do want to try and make at least one, preferably two, friends in each of my classes.  I’ve noticed that I enjoy a class much more when I have a friendly face to talk to each class period.  It’s hard to make the initial “move” to talk to someone new, but almost every time I’ve done it, I’ve been glad I did and the other person is appreciative and receptive.  I just need to remind myself of this when the nerves overwhelm me and keep me from getting someone’s attention to introduce myself.  I’ve been through this many times before though, so I know I am capable and know it just requires saying something, no matter if it’s a question about the homework, the textbook, or the class in general.  As the picture says, I will put myself out there this school semester!

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11 thoughts on “Making Friends In Class Again

  1. patricia60 on said:

    I think the is a great strategy and you may surprise yourself
    I just let go of my professional organization after 40 years. Because I can honestly say I have not made any friends. Lots of acquaintances but never a close friend. When the work and role demand a separation and good boundaries. It is very difficult when your comrades will not be open. It can also be abusive. Introverts. Need more space when working in the public eye. Better to set up good relationships at an esrly age.

    • Yeah it can be especially tough to make friends through your work or after college. It’s good that you were able to let go of your organization when you were finding that you weren’t making many fulfilling relationships out of it after all those years. Thanks for your comment Patricia! :)

  2. Celia Anne Heartwood on said:

    Great idea! I love that you’re reaching out and trying to make friends! Good for you! I need to do the same. I, for one, am a little more nervous about it because I transferred in during my sophomore year, and my entire major was already close-knit from freshman year on. I’ll have to work at it, but maybe I can be close-knit with them too. Good luck beating your shyness. Make good freinds :) They’re great to have around. <3

    • Thanks, it’s always harder to make friends through classes than it is through dance for me, but I’d like to have more people to talk to at school too. Good luck making new friends at your new school too! I’m going to be in the same boat once I transfer from community college to a 4 year school next Fall and the only person I’ll know in the area will be my brother. :)

      • Celia Anne Heartwood on said:

        :) you know what is nice about it though? it’s extremely freeing to start over where nobody knows you. it’s a clean slate.

        • That is very true. It can be nerve-racking at first to be on your own in a new place, but once you settle down and realize you have a lot of new opportunities to start anew, it becomes a little exciting too!

  3. You have made so much progress since I found your blog in 2011! I feel bad that I’ve gotten so far behind in reading other blogs and I appreciate that you still pop in to read mine sometimes! :)
    I’ve nominated you for the “Family of Bloggers Award” and I hope you accept! :)
    http://therealsharon.com/2013/01/26/family-of-bloggers-award/

    • Thank you very much for your sweet comment Sharon! :) And I’m really honored about the award, thanks! I love the part where you wrote “she could also teach everyone to swing dance”! :) Hope you have a great rest of your weekend!

  4. Da Young on said:

    Wow! I found your blog a few minutes ago and what you are doing is terrific! I am introverted at heart but would no longer describe myself as shy. Your journey reminds me of mine, and I wish you the best of luck in it. It’s funny how the valuable qualities of being introverted are more visible when trying to be more extroverted. I read your guest post at the “Quiet” blog and it’s wonderful how you realized it was perfectly fine to be introverted before starting this journey. For me, the journey started with a discontent with myself and discovering the virtues of an introverted personality came in the process of making myself un-shy. The most important thing I learnt (and still am learning) along the way is to love and know oneself.
    Thank you for your insightful and courageous blog. I’ll definitely be coming back (often).
    Da Young

    • Thank you Da Young for your lovely comment! I did actually start my Shyness Project with some discontent of being introverted and wanting to be more loud and outgoing, but after I graduated high school about midway through the project I realized I didn’t have to (or really want to) be like that. My mindset was more clearly focused on overcoming fears rather than trying to change my naturally calm demeanor after that. So I can definitely relate to your experiences and am glad you can relate to mine. :) Thanks for stopping by and hope to hear from you again sometime!

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