The Shyness Project

Archive for the tag “dressing confidently”

Laura Croft and Skirt

Yesterday I wore my beige jeans for the first time and a nice top and came to school sporting my sunglasses.  I didn’t think I was dressed up enough to get any notice, but my friend Annie raved over me and my sunglasses exclaiming that I looked like Laura Croft (Tomb Raider), which made me laugh.  It was flattering but I don’t think I quite looked like Laura Croft.  She said all I needed was brown hair and to braid it.  Annie was wearing a skirt in heels and I complimented her and said she was the one who looked really nice.  She started talking about how she didn’t think it was going to be chilly today but it was after all and she was kind of cold.  I took notice of this because I’ve tended to do the same thing when people have given me a compliment when I wear a skirt.  I tend to thank them and babble about the weather automatically like I want to take the attention off me or something, haha.  But I pay attention to it now and it does seem like a natural response for others too.  It helps avoid any awkward pauses after compliments too I suppose if you can’t think of anything else to say after you’ve been complimented.

Today I wore a long flowy brown skirt and a fancy white top and sandals.  It was kind of windy out and colder than yesterday, but I decided to go for it anyway.  One of my friends asked why I was dressed so fancy today and I just said for the heck of it and why not.  I was cold sometimes but for the most part I was inside and protected from the gusty winds outside.  When Annie saw me at lunch she gushed over my outfit again and I thanked her and complimented our friend Emily since she was wearing a nice green dress.

It’s been nice dressing up and giving out more compliments.  When I dressed up this morning, I just decided to focus on giving out compliments and not about what I was wearing.  That way I’d feel less self-conscious about the change and more outwardly focused.  The more I’m dressing up, the more I’m realizing that it’s a positive experience and no one thinks it’s weird to come dressed more fancily than the typical blue jeans and plain shirt.  It’s kind of nice knowing that when I dress up I’m likely to get some positive feedback too.

Skirt Surprises

This week I jumped right into things and wore a black skirt, pink sparkly top, dangly silver earrings, and black sandals to school because I thought it was going to be a hot day again, but it turned out to be windy and on the cold side.  I was kind of surprised by what did (or didn’t) happen when I wore the skirt though instead of my regular jeans.

In the morning after I complimented a friend’s necklace and mentioned how cold it was compared to yesterday, I had to actually point out that I was wearing a skirt before she noticed and said it looked nice.

In the first few periods of class the two friends I have those periods in didn’t really notice or say anything, until snack time one of them noticed and said they liked my skirt.

At snack I saw one of my closest friends and she noticed right away and said I looked really cute today and gave me lots of compliments.  I said that since I don’t normally dress this way at school (I usually just wear skirts and dresses when I go swing dancing) so I wanted to go out of my comfort zone a little and she understood and resonated with a “yeah, like switch things up!” and smiled a lot.

Later on some other friends said I looked nice or cute throughout the day, but no one seemed surprised or anything.  It was an interesting discovery, and it really just goes to show that people don’t notice as much as you think and are mostly focused on themselves.  I know that we’re told that all the time but having an experience like that does really help you realize it. I was surprised more people didn’t make a bigger deal about it or try to embarrass me.  I guess just because one friend did that before I somehow got it in my head that it would happen again, but it didn’t.

I did have a few negative thoughts throughout that day that I was able to pick up on and refute.  When I first got to school and was walking past two boys in an empty hallway, I thought I heard them say that they were glad they weren’t girls or something like that, and thought maybe they thought I looked silly all dressed up or something.  But I realized that I could have heard wrong and even if I did hear right it might not have anything to do with me and I don’t know the reason why they would say that.

Right before snack when I was about to meet my friend who gave me all the compliments, I thought “I look stupid” as I walked down the stairs, but then immediately caught onto that and told myself I look good and I don’t look stupid.

I’ve also been giving out a lot more compliments too, and have been taking notice of things others have been wearing.  I try and give 3 genuine compliments a day now and for the most part I’ve done that.

Besides switching things up clothing wise, I’ve still been participating in class.  In third period I answered a question without even thinking about it and it seemed like no big deal.  And yesterday I raised my hand in psych class (remember this one, the one that was so difficult to participate in?) to answer a question without even thinking about it and without any preparation or nervousness.  And today I answered a question 6th period without thinking about it.

Whoa.  What’s happened here?

Hope you all have a great weekend!

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