The Shyness Project

Peer vs Self-Validation

wreck it ralphI watched “Wreck-It Ralph” for the first time on Wednesday. The story is about a “bad guy” (Wreck-It Ralph) who deserts his arcade game to prove that he’s not so bad after all and has what it takes to be a good guy.  Throughout the movie he searches for a hero’s medal, which he believes will help him be accepted by his peers in the arcade community.

I liked the messages in the film about how we should not let others’ labels or views define or hold power over us. We are all too complex and multidimensional to be simplified or put in a box.  Ralph may play the role of a “bad guy” for his video game, but there is more to him than that and he shouldn’t be restricted to this role.  What he believes about himself and how he personally identifies is much more important than what others believe or think about him.

Of course, I can relate to this message because this story has a lot of parallel elements with how my Project came about.  I didn’t like how the “shy” label was imposed on me and how restricted I felt in my actions and pursuits. This project was my journey in shedding this label and allowing myself to discover who I really am and what I am capable of when I put my mind to it. In the end, I learned that I was much more capable than I believed, and that although I may continue to feel shy in certain situations, it doesn’t have to define me or hold me back.  Sharing these experiences made me feel very vulnerable, but the benefits were enormous and allowed me to connect with others on a much deeper and meaningful level than I had ever been able to before.  Since I could relate to Wreck-It Ralph, I especially enjoyed this story of self-discovery and breaking free of labels.  What did you think of the film and what messages did you get out of it?


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15 thoughts on “Peer vs Self-Validation

  1. I enjoyed the themes presented in the movie. I think your reading of it is right, but I think it also related to identity and to who we really are.

    Your project is quite interesting, I am glad I stumbled upon this blog. This is one I might actually read, lol.

    • Yeah totally, there are a bunch of good messages in the film and identity is definitely one of the focuses.

      Thanks Al, glad my blog has caught your interest. 🙂 Thanks for your comment!

  2. nancieteresa on said:

    I haven’t watched the movie yet, but I appreciated you bringing up the theme. I like your comment about not letting our roles define us and shedding labels that may box us or hold us back. It was a good reminder to me to pay attention to and notice my own labels that are sneaking up on me…that I can put on myself and others. All worth paying attention to. Thanks!

    • Yeah there are some other themes about friendship and loyalty in the film too though I figured I’d just touch on the one for now. 🙂 Labels and roles are definitely worth paying attention to so we don’t get too caught up in them and let them restrict us or keep us from breaking out of our comfort zone. Thanks for reading and for writing!

  3. Tracy Whitmire on said:

    I love this movie! It has reminded me to always be the “glitch in the system”. Do what others don’t, either out of fear or conformity. Vannelope KNEW who she was inside. She knew and would not be imprisoned by their label and taunting. I was labeled a shy recluse because I didn’t enjoy the hustle and bustle of life, I prefer to be alone with my thoughts more often than not. (Unless on social media 😛 )

    Labels are just that, a limit someone else places on you. Rip it off and do what you want to do. Like Zombie says, “Zangief saying, labels not make you happy. GOOD! BAD! NNNNGH! You must love you.”

    • Right on Tracy, I like what you said about how the movie reminded you to be the “glitch in the system.” Yeah one of my friends is similar, she enjoys being by herself in quiet places rather than being around a bunch of people and noises. And nice quote to bring up from the movie, it was a good one! Thanks very much for your input! 🙂

  4. I haven’t seen this movie yet but now I really want to! 🙂

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  7. melissa on said:

    I can relate to this because I am shy and I’m not a drinker but it’s so annoying because if I want to dance at a club – which isn’t typical but i went to an 80s club for my birthday and i did want to dance and if I wanted to drink – I’ve had a few in my lifetime – everyone makes such a big deal out of it which makes me even more shy so i dont dance or i wont do whatever it is i wanted to in the first place. I just want to do whatever I want without the big deal.

    • That’s tough, sorry to hear that. :/ I mostly stick in the swing dance scene so I haven’t experienced clubs but I haven’t wanted to because of the noise and chaos I assume would be there.

  8. You’ve got to be the one that give yourself the validation. You’re peers should be a mirror of the validation you give yourself. What I mean is, you will have the kinds of people hanging around you (or you will hang around them) that validate you for who you BELIEVE you are! You wait for external validatoin, and you’ll find you’ll have people around you who are after the same and also low in confidence. You first, the rest will work itself out!

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