The Shyness Project

When Times are Tough

I know it’s been a while since I have posted.  I will admit it’s been a lot harder for me to keep up this blog this year than it was last year.  I still want to try and keep it up, though my focus has been elsewhere from shyness and it is more difficult to find things I want to write about.

There are times when things aren’t going well in life and can be really frustrating.  This is one of those times, and though I try to stay optimistic and hopeful that things will get better soon, it’s hard.

I’ve been taking care of myself though, running or walking daily, talking to friends and family, and writing a lot in my journal.  I will be ok and don’t want anyone to worry though. It’s just a tough time.

I have made two community college friends this year, though have only hung out with one of them outside of class, Kim.  I like how she isn’t afraid to ask me random questions when we’re together and we can just ask each other about ourselves.  We played tennis recently and she told me she’s in her second year of community college but I’m the first friend she’s made there.  She thinks it’s hard to meet people and that most people in community college aren’t as friendly as me.  I was really honored and was glad to be her first community college friend.

The other friend I made was a girl named Kelly from my very monotonous History class.  I originally sat next to a group of obnoxious girls and boys, but the next class I decided to choose a new place to sit and tried sitting next to this girl.  She was furiously solving a Rubik’s cube as I sat down, and I wondered if  she would be too absorbed in her cube to talk to me.   After she finished solving the cube and set it down, I asked her about when the history essay was due though.  She smiled and said not for a while.  I then asked her about the Rubik’s cube and if she had it memorized how to solve it and she said she had.  She was really smiley and nice and went into that and how she had gotten into Rubik’s cubes a lot lately.  We talked more on that.  She brought out her laptop then which apparently has a kindle on there and games. The laptop was a graduation present, and it turns out we graduated high school the same year.  I was thinking of when I would introduce myself and say my name and if I should wait when she smiled and said, “My name’s Kelly.” And I told her my name from there.  She asked if I had read the Hunger Games and I said I hadn’t, and she really recommended them, and then we got on the subject of Harry Potter.  She was really friendly and it made the class so much more enjoyable. The actual lecture was still very boring though, but it was nice to have made a friend to get through it with.

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22 thoughts on “When Times are Tough

  1. Hang in there, Brittany. It can be hard to make new friends, especially when everyone else in your immediate area seems uninterested or too busy. You have the right attitude – just make friends with the people who seem open, and find the things that make you happy for when you’re flying solo.

    It might sound a little odd to be saying this at this time in your life, but it’s really a good time for you to continue to try things that *you* find enjoyable as you head through your college career. The longer you are out in the world, the more people you will meet – most of whom will either not be interested in the same things that you are or not people that you want to hang out with!! 🙂

    You’re in the part of the process that is like picking up sea shells – sometimes, you find only bits and pieces because the rest of the person is otherwise occupied; other times, the ones you find are cracked and smelly! Occasionally, though, you find nice whole (or mostly whole) ones that are a perfect fit – not a perfect analogy, because they’re looking, too, but you get the idea: it’s all part of the process. Don’t be afraid to leave the bits and pieces behind as you look for the ones that are right for you.

    Have a good week!!

    • Thanks Cheryl! Yeah I really still have a lot more exploring to do with school and figuring things out career wise. It’s tempting to just want to settle for something but I’m trying to keep an open mind and I should try and do some more research. And there are always going to be times of ups and downs and it is difficult when you’re in a time of the down but you just got to keep pushing ahead to get through it. Thanks for your note, and have a good week too!

  2. Brit, I am really glad when things are not going well for you, that you have people around you to help you through it. I will take your word for it that you are okay. Both girls sound like they could benefit from your friendship as well as vice versa. I hope you can blog more often.

    • Thanks Tom! I am really glad about that too and I am very grateful. And I’m glad to have made a few new friends too in my classes this semester. Thanks for writing!

  3. emmie on said:

    Don’t worry Brittany; there’s always sunshine after the rain 🙂

  4. patricia60 on said:

    Nice to find your new words today – I know the tough times are really tough, then again they are also part of the learning and skill building for life. I can look back now and see all the recovery notches on my life belt and when the going gets really tough it can be a life saver.

    So many folks these days think life is just the good times…but just like the earth it is full of hills and valleys – beautiful views and muddy distractions.

    Glad you have met a couple of friends to connect with, that is good. My college roommate is just celebrating the arrival of her first granddaughter this weekend…she has a 4 year old grandson. She decided to retire because this experience was just way too fun to miss out on!

    Keep you spirits up…
    I see that our friend who wrote QUIET is getting her own TED lecture….awesome, we knew her when…:)

    • Hi Patricia, yes you are right, the tough times are a part of learning and skill building. It’s good you can see the recovery notches you’ve been through and how they got you to where you are today.

      Very true, life is not just the good times. There are bad times too and they are all a part of the experience, difficult as they are to get through sometimes.

      Thanks I’m glad to have met a few new people too, it makes my classes a lot more fun when I have someone to talk with. And congrats to your college roommate! That is very exciting and is some great news!

      Yes I believe that is posted already somewhere, we’ll have to watch it sometime! I’m sure it’s very good! Thanks Patricia for writing! 🙂

  5. Hi Brittany….I’ve noticed in my own life that sometimes there are several steps forward and occasional pauses or glitches….then forward progress again…hence so many posts in my blogs about “one step at a time”, patience, chip away at it etc…I hope you feel better soon…please know that you’re cared about by many…Kathy

    • Thank you Kathy! 🙂 This is certainly one of those occasional pauses or glitches, and I hope to get back to the forward process again soon! Thanks for caring about me, I get teary eyed seeing these comments of love & support…

  6. Barbara Markway on said:

    Hi Brittany! I just randomly clicked on your site to see if there was anything new, and I was so excited when there was a new post. I miss you! I’m glad you can write even when times are tough. You had such an amazing year last year with such a clear focus, I can see where it would be harder to know what to write about now. We all care about you, so write even when things are hard, even when things are boring, or whatever. We don’t care. For me, even though your story of overcoming shyness was compelling, I was mostly drawn to your personality, which shines through no matter what you’re writing about.

    • Hi Barb, thank you for clicking over! Last year was a lot easier to write with the clear focus for sure, though it’s nice in a way not having as much of a focus even though it makes it harder to think of what you can write. And thank you so very much Barb, that is so very kind and makes me tear up too, thank you!

  7. You told me several times, Brittany: The path is not a straight one; there will be ups and downs. My turn to say the same thing to you. Whenever I feel like I’m losing the battle; I try to tell myself that I’ll win the next one, and that failing a battle is of a lesser importance than winning the war. In fact, battles are a great opportunity to sit back and think about how far you have come.
    And if that doesn’t work… Well, nothing like hot chocolate with too much sugar in it. Oh, and whipped cream. 😉

    • Thanks Vee! This isn’t about shyness or social anxiety really, but yes in general there will always be ups and downs in life. Things aren’t always going to be going great and new issues and struggles will arise that you’ll have to learn to deal with. Haha, and the hot chocolate and whipped cream sounds good! 🙂

  8. Always let out that pretty smile of yours. The world needs it. 🙂

  9. I feel your pain when it comes to finding time to blog, Brittany!
    Believe me….

    • Thanks for empathizing Hook! It does get really difficult sometimes doesn’t it? But the blogging community and people I’ve met here keep me determined to at least get something out there every few weeks! Thanks for your comments!

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