On calling someone shy or quiet
In Lit class my teacher was talking about a group presentation and randomly asked for people to raise their hand if they talk a lot. One guy I talk to J and several others raised their hand.
He then asked others to raise their hand if they’re quiet and don’t talk much. I kept my hand down, and J said “Raise your hand!” and I was like heck no techno and told him that I had talked the whole time during our group discussion. I thought, I don’t care what you think, I don’t have to identify myself with that anymore if I don’t want to, even if you think I’m in denial.
It’s a situational thing, and depends where I am and who I am with. There’s no need to keep making the fundamental attribution error anymore and keep calling me quiet just because you see me as being that way in class. I just like to actually listen to what the teacher is saying and like to get as much of my work done as possible so I have less to do at home. And if I don’t have friends in that class and most of the class is grouped up, I’m content to just sit and get my work done rather than chatter.
Being quiet isn’t a bad thing, I know, I am just so tired of hearing that and having people tell me what I am. Talk to me more if you want, I’ll talk back for sure. So what if others do think I am quiet and shy? Well, there’s nothing I can do about that, and they are free to think whatever they want to think. It hurts and it’s frustrating that others may think of you in a way that you’d rather they didn’t think of you, but it’s ok. I’m probably overly-sensitive about it, but maybe I am not the only one.
Well, I just googled it, and I am definitely not the only one who feels hurt when people call them shy or quiet. Go figure. If you didn’t know that making a remark like that could hurt someone’s feelings, hopefully you’ll now know for the future. These are all worth taking a peek at.