The Shyness Project

Confiding, Apologizing, and Being Silly

On Friday I went swing dancing to see my friend Billy, who I hadn’t seen in a year since he moved to Washington after college graduation.  It was really good to see him; he hadn’t changed at all.  I couldn’t believe it had already been a year since we had to say goodbye to him, time went by quickly. It probably seems that way because we haven’t gone up to swing dancing much this year whereas last year we were practically there every other week.  During the long car rides there and back, Angela, my brother Sean, and I talked about some funny things and some serious things.  I love how Angela and I can just be open and honest with our feelings and rant to each other when we need to and always be there for each other.  She’s told me that she truly considers me to be her sister, and that I know more about her than any person living.  She knows more about me than anyone else too and we have so many experiences together that we can talk about anything and understand each other.  She knows so much about me and she loves me for who I am.  I never feel like I’m not appreciated and feel total unconditional acceptance from her, which is an incredible thing. 

During swing dancing I finally talked to one of my friends after wanting to talk to him for a while.  We were dancing and he told me briefly about some of the bad things that were going on lately.  Things had been a little weird between us ever since last year when we went on a date and there was all this confusion from that.  I didn’t think one date meant we were dating while he did, and it got very complicated and stressful.  It was really hard when I finally had to bring up that I wanted to make it clear that I considered him just a friend, and he took it really hard and things were never the same.  While dancing and after when I pulled him aside I talked to him about how sorry I was for hurting him and that I never meant to lead him on if I did.  I told him how much I was stressed out about the whole situation and that’s why it took me so long to bring it up.  I didn’t know what he was thinking and I didn’t know how to bring it up.  He said that means a lot to him and he was sorry too.  He said he didn’t mean to make me feel as bad as he did. A lot of bad things were going on and he kind of took it as an excuse to dump everything on me and was sorry.  He told me in a platonic way that he loves me and I’m one of his few friends and always looks forward to me coming up. I told him I love him too and think he’s a really sweet guy and that I was really sorry.  We hugged a tight hug and from then on out he seemed much happier and was smiling a lot.  The air was cleared, and things felt like old times again.  I’m glad we finally talked.

On Saturday we all met up again except this time at Angela’s house. We had a lot of fun baking, playing card and board games, and taking funny pictures.  I went into Angela’s room with her and found all these clothes that I could put on to be funny, like a blue cape and a horned hat as well as a Star Trek toy gun she had gotten for her birthday.  I put all the stuff on while Angela laughed, and then I opened her door quietly and creeped around the corner to where our friends were standing.  I jumped into the doorway and started blasting the toy gun that made “pew pew” sounds while lighting up and then ducked back for cover.  It was funny and silly and they all came to find me and found some stuff to wear too and we took awesome pictures.  They are really a great group of friends and I always feel so comfortable with them.  It was a very good weekend, and it was great to have most of the gang reunited again.(minus Brian) They’re all about 7-8 years older than me at 25 and 26, but we get along so well that you’d think we were the same age.  They’re always forgetting that I’m still in high school and never really think about it.  I hardly ever think about the age difference either.  I don’t really feel or act my age, I guess growing up with two brothers 8 and 11 years older than me made me feel like I was the same age too and I act as mature as them.

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14 thoughts on “Confiding, Apologizing, and Being Silly

  1. you’re a lot like my eldest daughter…she always enjoyed hanging out with a group that was several years older as well. She always was mature for her age. Glad you were able to clear the air w/ your friend. that is such a tricky area of life, when one person reads more into it than the other. my wife had the same problem more than once when she was in high school. She was just a nice person and guys would constantly misread her niceness for something that was not there. Fortunately for me, she did feel the sparks 🙂 and the rest is history. Sounds like you have a really cool group of friends to hang out with. DM

    • Thanks Doug!! 🙂 That’s interesting that I’m a lot like your older daughter when it comes to enjoying hanging out with people that are older than me! Sometimes I get so used to it that when I’m around some high school people my age I feel more out of place than when I’m with older people. Yeah it was really tough and stressful, and we were both to blame for the confusion and it wasn’t just one person’s fault. We should have had better communication about it. But I definitely learned from it. Haha, you and your wife are such a cute and happy couple, I think it’s so cool that you guys still feel the sparks after all these years. And yes, they are truly a great group, and I’m sad that we won’t all be able to get together again now that Billy’s left after his visit! But we are hoping to meet up again in the summer sometime. Thanks for your comment Doug! 🙂

  2. I have a lot of younger friends….I’m 27 and I have friends that are 21 and 22 that have been my friends for years…but I also have some older friends. One of my friends who is like an older mentor to me is 51, so I think when it comes to friends, age is just a number. It’s more about sharing interests and having things in common.

    • I completely agree Sharon! Age doesn’t matter when it comes to friendships, I have friends of many different ages. All that matters is that we get along and enjoy each others company. Having things in common definitely helps too. Thanks for writing! 🙂

  3. your surely have an interesting blog…:)
    keep going!!! 😀

    • Haha thanks! Considering it’s about my life and experiences I’m quite glad to hear that it’s interesting! 🙂
      I will! I just have to keep the momentum going, so far I’ve had over 5 successful months so that’s encouraging! Thanks for your comment!

  4. Where would we be without friends? Thank you for taking an interest in my blog. I plan to read more of yours so keep the posts coming =)

    • I know, seriously, I’m so grateful for the friends I have. They mean the world to me and I really don’t know what I would do without them. I will keep the posts coming, thanks for your comment! 🙂

  5. Embrace who you are and love who you are… I know it’s lame and cliche but don’t try to “fit in” at school…

    My best friends are 7 and 8 years older than me… (ha… though I’m not sure of how that makes them sound?)

    Just a level of maturity (and that will fluctuate several times for quite awhile…)

    • Thanks, I know that’s important to do and I’m ok with not fitting in at school sometimes and being different.

      Cool, glad you can relate! I really don’t even notice the age difference with my friends either, I think it really is more about maturity than age. Thanks for your comment! 🙂
      Is your real name Alicia by the way? I remember that from one post but wasn’t sure if that was right before I started using it, or if you want me to just call you Madonna.

  6. I’m a first time visitor from TheRealSharon’s site. I don’t want to reiterate what others have said, but I too have read several of your posts and have enjoyed your blog. Shyness can be debilitating if you let it, so good for you for attacking the problem.

    The important thing is to always be yourself. If you feel better with a certain age group than at this point feeling comfortable is important. Don’t limit yourself to one type of friend when it comes to race or gender though. One thing I have noticed in ‘travels’ is that people use the word friend too liberally. Most people are blessed to have just one person they can call a friend. It’s nice to have lots of people to hang out with but just know, most of them will always be just acquaintances. You will see what I mean later in life if you don’t believe me now.

    Take care,


    • Hey Tom, thanks so much for reading some of my posts and writing to me! Shyness is a confusing concept though it can become a problem if it holds you back from doing what you want to do.

      Yeah, they aren’t my only friends or anything we just haven’t all gotten together like this in a year so that’s why it was really special. They are all really good people and are really down to earth. I have several high school friends too and we get along wonderfully also. I’m also friends with people who are in their 50’s and all different races, genders, religions, cultures, etc. I think this is a great thing and have learned a lot from befriending many different people.

  7. Good for you! Indulge your silly side more often. You can dress up and take your friends to a comic comvention this summer.
    Stop laughing, they actually rock! And you can really loosen up from behind a mask.

    • Thanks! 🙂 I’m sillier with certain people than I am with some others, but I definitely have a silly side! My oldest brother Andrew always brought it out in me and we’d have so much fun being goofballs.
      Hey I’m not laughing! I went this year to Wonder Con for the first time!
      And I’m going to go next year and dress as Queen Amidala probably because my mom picked up a costume for it. 🙂 Have you been to Wonder Con and/or Comic Con?
      Thanks for writing Hook!

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