Vulnerability and Energy
Lately I’ve been good about speaking up when I want to compliment someone. Just a few hours ago I complimented a girl I sit next to but don’t talk to much who was wearing a pretty dress. I answered a couple of the teacher’s questions in Lit class yesterday too when only about me and one other guy were answering his questions. Everyone else was silent, and I think a lot of people hadn’t read, but luckily I’d finished the book a few weeks ago and knew enough to be able to respond to his questions.
This month I am going to let myself be more vulnerable with friends and share my stories, experiences, thoughts, and open up and confide more. I’ll probably have to hang out with people one-on-one to be able to do that, as it’s much harder for me to do that in a group and I tend to have my deeper conversations when it’s just me and one other person. In doing so I also hope to learn more about my friends and have a deeper connection with them. Another goal will be to act more energetic, enthusiastic, friendly, and silly to keep things light and not too heavy with all the deep opening up I’ll be doing. My psych textbook was saying that if you want to change your attitude you can change your behavior, since when you change one thing the other will feel a need to align itself with that change as well. So I will try that out.
Those are two behavioral things I can work on. Two cognitive things I can work on are to quit expecting negative results & the worst to occur, and also to imagine positive responses and closer friendships. For a lot of my friends I only have the remainder of senior year to be with them and get closer before we all split ways for college. I will probably see several of them again during breaks and what not, but it will never be quite the same as it was in high school and will be more difficult to get together. I hope I stay in good contact with my high school friends even through the distance. It will be different without them though, as I’ve lived in the same town for all of my life so far. I won’t be moving away until after I get my general education completed through community college, but in two years or so I will be in a different place. I am excited for that though even though I am nervous too. I think it’ll be important for me to go somewhere different with a fresh start.