The First Day of the New Year: 2011, A Time for Change
The Shyness Project will be a year-long endeavor to confront my shyness, once in for all. I created this project because my shyness has been interfering with my life for too long. I do not want to go on anti-depressants or other shyness pills, do not want to pay a large fee for a short series of classes or sessions, and do not want to resort to drugs or alcohol. I want to take charge of my own life.
Plus, I want to challenge myself and see if I can follow through with this. I’m afraid if I don’t address my shyness now, it’s going to continue to haunt me the rest of my life and keep me from doing a lot of the things I want to experience in life.
I want to be able to drive without worrying if I’ll get lost and have to ask for help. Or if I get in an accident I want to be able to talk confidently to the other person or the police. I want to be able to travel abroad without worrying that I won’t be able to ask for assistance when I need it or make friends. I want to be able to teach English abroad and have the self-confidence to stand in front of the room and speak/teach. I want to be able to make more friends but sometimes I have a hard time starting and continuing a conversation. I want to be able to raise my hand in class without my heart pounding, my palms sweating, and my mind screaming to keep my hand down. I want to be able to give a presentation without panicking and worrying for days, and even worse, bail out on it or turn the presentation down out of fear of embarrassing myself. I want to be able to act goofy and fun in front of others instead of feeling locked up and constricted in my movements. I want to be able to go outside by myself for a walk or run, or to shop at a store by myself instead of needing someone else to go with me. I want to be able to make a phone call without making a huge deal out of it and getting extremely nervous.
I’m tired of letting shyness dictate my life, and keep me from doing all the things I’m capable of. My shyness stands in the way of my dreams and ambitions, and I can’t let it stop me from doing what I want to do. It won’t be easy, and the feelings in my stomach I’ll get from doing something I don’t want to do will surely be nauseating, but I have to start somewhere. Even though I am often described as “the shy one”, I don’t like being labeled that and realize that this is more than just a little shyness. It’s something that has gotten really out of hand and needs to be worked on.
Shyness alone isn’t a bad thing, not at all. But when it prevents you from doing what you want to do and leaves you so stressed out and fearful all the time, then it’s a problem.